hamlet rides again

the st louis cardinals have re-signed outfielder preston "hamlet, prince of denmark" wilson to a 1 year deal. i, for one, am in favor of this, as it means i have a whole new baseball season to reference hamlet and baseball. it also means that mookie "claudius" wilson will be spending a lot more time in st louis.

ok, let me qualify. provided we didn't pay him an absurd sum, i like this signing.

second qualifier: by absurd sum, i mean an absurdly large sum. i don't mean "league minimum + 83lbs of m&m's, six crocodile teeth, and enough helium balloons to fly to nepal." that would actually be reasonable.

(g)rumblings

from the various happenings since my last post or passed over by it:

i'm ok with the ryan franklin signing, as long as it doesn't force anthony reyes or adam wainwright to be the odd man out. it's just a cheap insurance thing that keeps braden looper that much further out of the rotation.

rick ankiel has yet one more last chance to be a cardinal. count me among the "why the hell not" crowd, assuming we're paying him a regular minor league salary.

so signed today, pre-arbitration. i like so, but i wanted him to be an outfield defensive coach this year for the cardinals, not an outfielder. skip schumacher should be our defensive replacement this year, but 925k for so isn't that bad.

according to various sources, we either are or aren't trying to sign weaver. unless he's willing to sign for close to his actual worth and a short term contract, i say no thanks.

betting on the brokedown

ok, i'll admit that though i'm not his biggest fan, i would like to have at least one more healthy, "vintage" season out of the guy (considering what we gave up for him). he is a good pitcher when on top of his game.

that said, if the contract walt offered him is not incentive laden to the point of near-ridiculousness, i may have to kill someone. maybe something like this

base yr 1: $500,000
>50 innings: $500,000
>100 innings: $1,000,000
>150 innings: $1,000,000
>10 wins: $1,000,000
>15 wins: $1,000,000
no dl time after returning: $500,000
not frosting his hair in '07: $500,000
no interviews until return: $500,000
not sounding like a douche when he does do interviews after return: $500,000
total with all incentives: 7mm

base yr 2: $1,500,000
>50 innings: $500,000
>100 innings: $1,000,000
>150 innings: $1,000,000
>200 innings: $1,500,000
>10 wins: $1,000,000
>15 wins: $2,000,000
1 or more home runs hit: $50,000 each
not frosting his hair in '08: $500,000
not beating redbird brass at golf: $500,000
not sounding like a douche in interviews: $500,000
not wearing a "sounds of the game" mic: $500,000
total with all incentives: 11mm + hr (hit) bonuses

for the "not sounding like a douche" incentives, i offer my services to the cardinals for a mere 50k per year.

i should write contracts for the cards. think of how much we could have saved on marquis if we'd had a "not sounding like a douche" clause...

cold supp

i hope one and all had a merry christmas. i know that the suppan household did. i will miss supp as a cardinal, but in all reality, inflated market or not, a four year deal is too far to go with him. had he been willing to sign for two years at that per year price, he would have been a steal for the cards, but those last two years are the kicker. i wish him good luck and hope that the brewers emphasize their infield defense more next year for his sake.

i am starting to wonder where we're going to pull out that last starter, assuming that wainwright is definitely going to the rotation. at this point, i wouldn't mind letting brad thompson start for the half year or so that mulder will still be rehabbing and then trade him out for mulder (still not his biggest fan, but when he's on, he's freakin' on).

resquiat in pace, godfather of soul.

moving not treading

regarding yesterday's bunch of signings: i like them. they are all good money deals for the redbirds. true, adam kennedy is signed for more than last year's 2nd base spending limit which cost us grudzielanek (god knows i've misspelled that), but in the end, we'll have spent less this coming year than in 2006 on 2nd base due to the junior spivey-as-million-dollar-minor-leaguer added to luna (at minimum), gollum (at slightly over minimum), and jabba the second baseman (pro-rated, but 1mm+).

kip wells for 4mm a year is fine with me. he projects to be a good duncan fixer-upper, with a new coat of paint and maybe new curtains. most groundball specialists can succeed as #5 guys with the cards, thanks to the emphasis on infield defense (and the dumb luck of the best hitter in the game, possibly of all time, also being one of the best first basemen in the bigs today).

1 more year, 162 more chances to utter the phrase "gary freakin' bennett?!?"

eli marerro is a fan favorite, and as far as i'm concerned, we can sign virtually any old body to a minor league contract. let him compete for a spot. it worked for the imperial spiez, did it not?

start out on the (relatively) cheap, build from there. i like it, walt.

a little further celebration

two more quick thoughts...

i kinda hope we do sign jabba the second baseman, if only so i get to use that nomenclature again. on the other hand, if we don't resign strikeout machine hamlet as a fourth outfielder, i will be satisfied to have only called him that this one time, so long as someone other than my wife recognizes just how freakin' clever that is.

free agents! free all contractual prisoners!

stl free agents already filed (and opinions where warranted):

ronnie belliard - i like his glove, i like his offensive potential. this may be the year ownership decides to pony up on spending at second, but it's worked for them to do no such thing for four years in a row, so who knows? ron-ron will probably price himself out of a lot of teams range this go round.

gary bennett - say it ain't so, gary, say it ain't... ok, i really don't care in the slightest.

jason marquis - bye. best of luck, headcase.

scott spiezio - if we can afford this super-sub i can see going for it. if not, well, the soul patch was fun while it lasted.

the corpse of jose vizcaino - thanks for that one homer, jose, and for giving eck a few minutes to heal.

jeff weaver - i don't think our other jeff will be back next year. call it a hunch. therefore, i want to keep this jeff. his stuff is better; it's just a matter of control. working with duncan again can only help, and if he needs to know, i might know a guy who knows a guy who can get him some good weed.

i've heard a rumor on mark mulder as well. if this is true, and he doesn't accept an incentive-heavy deal from us, i will truly wash my hands of him, the ungrateful bastard. if he does, welcome home, mark. we always knew you'd be great again.

filthy little jorge

ok, so first of all, i'm not all that bothered by the jorge sosa signing, because it cost us very little, and maybe his heat will be a good thing to mix in with our pitch to contact set. he is also a relief pitcher we can allow to bat for himself without too much concern, so he can span a few innings without necessitating a pinch hitter. no, sosa isn't the problem so much as he is not the solution. what about the impact move we've been calling for/hearing about? what about the lack of off-season moves being to save money for the big trade deadline snag? where's my championship calibur team?

my complaint about our backup ss still stands as well. the first time i see miles and belliard as our middle infield, i may have to slit my wrists. hell, let spiez do it. i think i recall so taguchi playing some middle infield in an emergency situations before. christ, let rolen play short and put spiezio at third, just don't play gollum at short!

thanks, reverend redbird, for helping me share with cardinal nation aaron's true name...